CW; this is basically all religious discussion. If that’s not your cup of tea, feel free to completely ignore. This is the only time I’ll write one like this; we’re back to our regularly-scheduled writing posts next week.
This is coming from two sources. First off, I recently watched Cinema Therapy’s episode on Heretic, in which they told their viewers that they were Mormons, or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Second, well, there’s stuff going on today that’s very emotionally charged. I’m going to do my standard hiding-under-a-rock because I was recently reminded that my emotional stability is less than perfectly stable and if I can safely ignore world events, I will, so I can save my mental energy take care of myself and my family. But there are some people who can’t safely ignore what’s going on and my heart aches for them.
The thing that struck me about watching the Cinema Therapy episode and reading the comments was that some people referred to it as “coming out as Mormon” which struck me with an odd chord. And yet- well, I’m going to go ahead and say it here so I can talk without stepping around it, yes, I too am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (That’s a large mouthful so please forgive me if I shorten it to “the church” from herein; we’ll consider it like a legal document. The church of the first part shall be referred to in this blog as the church of the first part.)
Another note about that; I’m saying it now for the reasons mentioned above but I as I said at the beginning, I don’t foresee my religion being a major theme on this blog, or mentioned again really, as that’s not the focus nor idea here. I’m not trying to hide my religion but I don’t want to use it as a banner or rallying cry or tool. I’m only writing this as an explanation so you can understand me a little and one of the aspects of myself.
I do sometimes feel very awkward when someone in media or online loudly proclaims that they’re Christian because often that means one of two things- either they’re going to use it as a bludgeon to push their views on how to be a good person on everyone else, or commenters are going to start accusing them of doing such. So I’m usually pretty quiet about my faith. I don’t want to wield it like a bludgeon. I want people to know me for me, not give me a label that lets them classify me before they know me. And I really don’t want to be blasted for my beliefs. (Comments are going to remain locked on this post, btw, for that reason even when I do open them on other posts.)
But in this instance, they presented their faith in context of a movie that dealt with the topic of religion and belief in a sensitive and careful manner, not offering answers nor really judgements. And the comments were oddly like someone coming out on gender or sexuality to a supportive group- “I always suspected. I thought I picked up some hints of it.” “You are one of us! I’m so glad to see someone who’s like me.” “I’m glad you’re among the good ones.” “Well, I’m not thrilled with your choices, but your actions show me I can trust you anyway.” And I guess in a way, their doing so is giving me the confidence to do so in a much smaller manner.
I’m trying to write this without going too long, I just wanted it to be out there. I’m not trying to change minds, I’m trying to present myself honestly. I’ve tried writing this post several times and every time it’s felt insufficient, so I’m going to try to keep it simple. I just want to give my reasonings for why I, personally, am in this church.
Now, for starters, yes I was born into it. I was raised in the faith. And while I’ve told people that “going to college corrupted me” (which is ironic since it was BYU), it didn’t change the basic things my parents brought me up to believe and understand, just opened my mind on how broad the world is and how I would apply my beliefs to my life and my view on the world. COVID and lockdown was another big factor in my personal search for how and what I believed. Church wasn’t there every Sunday any more, only what I made it. The community aspect of it was basically gone. And most of my connection came from being online. Which… bears its own problems. It made me feel pretty alone but also made me dig down to my foundations of belief. And I came up with these four basic tenets of my own belief.
First, there is a God and He loves me.
Perfectly, fully, flaws and all. Because of that, He wants me to be better. He also loves everyone else just as perfectly and fully. And because of that, He wants me to be the kind of person who uplifts, strengthens, and makes other people’s lives better. If I look at it from my viewpoint as a (very imperfect) parent, I want my children to grow and make their own choices, but I want them to end in a place that’s happy for them. And they don’t get there by having others, even their siblings, nag, scold, criticize, lash out at, or otherwise try to browbeat them into doing what their sibling thinks is right. I keep telling my kids “That’s a Mom thing to say/do.” So I don’t get to do the parts that are God’s thing to say or do, I just do my best to love, support, and meet people where they are and help them get where they’re happy. (No I’m not perfect about this either.) As such, when people use the name of God to spread hate, it hurts me deeply and frankly makes me angry. (see also: no I’m not a perfect person)
Second, the church isn’t perfect.
The prophets and leaders aren’t perfect. The parents, teachers, and members aren’t perfect. The end goal is perfection but we’re getting there slowly. There is a perfect version but it’s in the distance and we’re making our way towards it. That’s the point of having a prophet that our church believes receives guidance from God- to help get the large, lumbering, mass of what any world-spanning organization entails on a path that leads to that perfect vision. I’m also increasingly convinced that the perfect vision is less strict than what many assume but asking for people in the church to live currently by a more strict version provides two benefits- first, it shows that we’re willing to step up, to work at it, to actually do things to better ourselves. And second, I think that some things like “don’t drink” are there as a protection. Some people can drink and enjoy it and be moderate and not have it ruin their lives. But there are also people for whom it’s hugely destructive, massively addicting, and a big problem. And you don’t know which you are until you’ve started. But no one is going to be living a majorly impaired life without drinking, or gambling, or drugs, or other things that fit in those categories. So saying “don’t” protects those in the second category without vastly impacting the lives of those in the first.
Third, this life isn’t the end.
This life isn’t the end of growth, achievement, learning, family, friends, making art, making mistakes, or anything good. Heaven isn’t a place of clouds and halos and neverending religious songs. I mean, I like singing and I’d love to learn the harp, but can you imagine how boring that would get in probably less than a day? But the things that are worth doing are the things that will continue after this life, when our restrictions are loosened and we can do them with more understanding. This life is just the part where we learn who we are when we don’t have the looming certainty. I know my kids behave differently when I’m watching them. How do they behave when they don’t know? That’s what we’re learning now. Are we kind when it’s not compulsory? Are we generous when it actually affects us? How do we spend our time and how do we prioritize when we have so many pressing needs that physical, imperfect bodies on this problematic earth present us?
Fourth regards those physical aspects of life on this messy earth and is harder to sum up in a sentence. But I sum it up in a few scriptures and stories. First off, “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s.” Second, “Before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the Kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ, ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good– to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and afflicted.” And lastly, the story of the only time Christ was on earth and got mad– the time he found people turning the temple into a market for animal sacrifices. So what’s that mean? Money and wealth aren’t the mark of goodness and righteousness. Building up a lot of wealth is in fact bad for your soul, if you’re a person trying to make a positive impact on the world. Get comfortable, get to the point you’re not worried about your next meal and keeping a roof over your family’s head, then start seeing where you can give. Turning the pursuit of profit, even for an ostensibly good thing like following the rituals required of your religion, into the thing you seek is not a great plan unless you want to be chased out with a whip.
As a note, in none of these do I find reason to look at someone and notice whether they’re the same religion as me, a different religion, completely atheistic or even antitheistic, or of a different nationality or creed or race or gender or anything, in any way other than to find out more about them and get to know them as a person. Maybe to know if they need help, to find where I can lift.
So I think that, to sum it up, is my religion- find a way to do good in the world. And as a lot of people are going to be hurting and are hurting now, whether from accident or war or the hate given by people who claim to worship the same God I do, well, I just hope I can find some way to do good, within my scope and sphere of influence.
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